There are lots of penis balloons out there, but most of them can only dream of being as debonnaire and charming as this fella right here. Just look at him with his spiffy little bow-tie! I would gladly let him take me out to a nice dinner. And look at that smile. He knows he’s the best there is.
Yes, yes, I know that balloons aren’t capable of intelligent thought, much less of taking you out on a date. You don’t need to tell me that I’m living in the delusional fantasy world of a lonely spinstress who’s attended too many bachelorette parties as a bridesmaid and none as a bride. Who are you, my mother?
Anyways, while I go call this steak house over and over again until they let me reserve a table for myself and a foil balloon, you should really think about using the Smiling Foil Penis Balloon to decorate your next bachelorette party. Maybe he won’t recite you poetry by moonlight, but he will really light up the room with his infectious smile and shiny exterior!
Includes a straw for easy inflation. Measures 14” x 24” (35.5 cm x 61 cm) when fully inflated.