If your first reaction to the song “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is to think, “That’s not sexy enough,” then boy oh boy, do we have a product for you. Just imagine, what if Rudolph was a gorgeous babe instead of a reindeer, and instead of a glowing nose, she had glowing boobs? Like, sure, Rudolph might not be a great name for a lady, but she would more than make up for it with her big, shining bosom. Rudolph with your boobs so bright, won’t you get me laid tonight?
Okay, so we might have some licensing issues to work out and some Christmas traditions to rewrite before we can make Rudolph the Red-Boobed Hot Girl a thing. But in the meantime, the most important part of her is already here: now you can own your very own glowing boobs thanks to the Boobs Flash Light! This suggestively-shaped beacon of illumination makes an excellent gag gift for the groom-to-be, or it can assist you in your late-night bachelor party scavenger hunt games. You could use it to help you deliver presents on Christmas, too, but we have a feeling most kids’ parents won’t be too happy about that, so you’d best keep it restricted to bachelor parties!