Here at Bachelorette.com we’ve been certified Penis Lollipop Experts for a long time, but lately we’ve decided to expand our confectionary repertoire. So we thought, what other shapes would be popular to suck on at a bachelorette party? My boomer mother-in-law suggested a fax machine or a rotary telephone, but the new Gen Z intern thought an Emoji might be a better fit. And I think I’m going to have to side with the intern on this one. Everybody loves Emojis, right? They’re definitely in my top 3 ways to communicate an idea to someone without using my words, along with interpretive dance and babbling babytalk until the other person gets weirded out and leaves.
But there are so many Emojis to choose from. The suggestive eggplant? Nah, we already have plenty of penis-shaped suckers. The Easter Island stone head? That’s just going to look like a weird grey blob and no one will know what it is. A heart? Nah, too romantic, save that for the wedding - the bachelorette party isn’t about romance, it’s about naughty fun. And that’s when it hit us. Or should I say, that’s when shit hit us. The poop emoji. It’s perfect!
Just think of all the versatile uses for a Poop Emoji lollipop. Bride took one two many shots? You can use this pop to let her know she’s shit-faced. Maid of honor taking way too much control over the evening? You might want to fling some literal poop at her, but we think it will turn out a lot better for you if you use this instead. Just want a tasty snack that will make everyone laugh while they eat it? Boom. Delicious chocolate taste, goofy emoji face. It doesn’t get better than that.
One chocolate-flavored lollipop. Net weight 1.5 oz / 42g.