Penis-Shaped Breath Mints

Item Description

Have you ever wanted to give a blow job to an albino smurf? Or one of Santa’s elves who hasn’t spent a day outside in his life? Or a Ken doll someone forgot to dye skin-colored? One of those must be who they had in mind when they made these willie-shaped blow job mints, because they’re tinier and whiter than any dick we’ve ever seen.

Actually, now that we think about it, maybe they meant you should eat these mints after giving a blow job. With their strong mint flavor, they would probably be pretty good for getting that peckery taste out of your mouth.

Well, we may not know how they got their name, but we do know these tasty mints will be a hit at your bachelorette party. They’re a useful snack to have around, whether you’re cleaning the taste of the maid of honor’s noxiously strong mixed drinks out of your mouth, or just munching on them while you wait for the bride to get ready (it’s not like it’s the wedding yet, you don’t understand what’s taking her so long!) They’re also sugar free and less than 3 calories each, which probably means they’re healthier for you than giving an actual blow job! Probably.

Each tin contains about 50 mints, and each mint is about a half an inch long.